Jerreigh@contemplayshuns.com

George Bush Countdown | 277 Days Left

"You're free.  And freedom is beautiful.  And, you know, it will take time to restore chaos and order -- order out of chaos.  But we will."  George Bush, April 2005

George Bush Countdown | 292 Days Left

Make the tax cuts for the rich permanent.  -- George Bush's solution for everything.

George Bush Countdown | 298 Days Left

"Reading is the basics for all learning." -- George Bush, March 28, 2000

Bush Vetoes Waterboarding Bill | 313 Days Left

Who would Jesus torture?

George Bush Countdown | 316 Days Left

"I'm for medical liability at the federal level." -- George Bush, March 2006

George Bush Countdown | 321 Days Left

"In this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis.  You don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, 'How do you think my standing will be?'"

-- George Bush, March 2005

George Bush Library | "Secret Blueprint" Revealed

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. It will include:

Hurricane Katrina Room: Still under construction and always will be.

Alberto Gonzales Room:  Where you can't remember anything.

Texas Air National Guard Room: Where you don't even have to show up.

Walter Reed Hospital Room:  Where they don't let you in.

Guantanamo Bay Room:  Where they don't let you out.

Weapons of Mass Destruction Room:  Which no one has been able to find.

Iraq War Room:  Hotter than hell.  Extremely dangerous.  If you get out alive the first time, they keep sending you back again and again and again.

Dick Cheney Room: Undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.

K-Street Project Gift Shop:  Where you can buy (or sell) elections.

Airport Men's Room: Where you can meet some of your favorite Republican senators.

Phone Room: Where you can listen in on any phone call, anywhere in America without anyone's permission.

Patriot's Lounge: Where you profess your support for our troops but don't have to do anything about it -- like giving them enough guns or armor and medical care if they're wounded.  American-flag lapel pin required for entry.

Jerry Falwell Memorial Chapel:  Where you're free to pray to any God you choose, as long as his name is Jesus.  Strict adherence to our narrow view of "true" religion required for entry.  No gays allowed.

Education Room:  No rich child left behind.

Research Room:  Equipped with electron microscope to examine Bush accomplishments, if you can find any.

The President's Ego Room:  Entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale of Dubya's ego.

Exhibits:  To be determined.  Only criteria is that they have to be better than Daddy's.

George Bush Countdown | 337 Days Left

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have -- he can't have it both ways.  He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."  -- George Bush on John McCain, February 2000.

George Bush Countdown | 343 Days Left

"Because the -- all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those -- changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be -- or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled." -- George Bush, February 2005 (explaining his plan to "save" Social Security).

George Bush Countdown | 351 Days Left

"You work three jobs? . . . Uniquely American, isn't it?  I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that."  -- George Bush, February 2005